I went for a run earlier tonight and left the big three at home. 

When I walked back in the door after a few sopping wet miles, they’d set the alarm, so I turned it off, yelled down the steps towards Keaton’s room, and then hopped in the shower. 
As I was toweling dry, I noticed three missed calls from the house cellphone, so I rolled my eyes and called back.
Keaton: “Um, mom, when are you coming home?”
Never. And tell the lady upstairs that she’s your mother now…

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